An email from a shallow Dutchman
Disclaimer! The following post might/will annoy and offend some people. It’s from a Shallow Dutchman who has some rather controversial views. Don’t shoot the exceptionally well-dressed messenger!
Dear Shallow Man,
I was lucky to be born in one of the richest countries in the world, claiming total freedom for every citizen. Yet, this seemingly ideal place has not particularly lead to free-thinking inhabitants. I was not planning on writing to you, but after reading a handful of your articles I couldn’t resist it. Your notes on Dutch people are so very accurate that they were painful to read. Being highly jealous of the English sarcasm and knowing I will never reach that level, I will just stick to a few fun facts from the point of view of a Dutchman who has been with women from The Netherlands but also many other countries. Do whatever you want to do with it.
I will share some of my thoughts about the Dutchies, and in particular, about Dutch girls, as their behaviour intrigues me. I have been together for some time with my lovely German girlfriend, and before that with Dutch girls, and a few other nationalities, so I think I can say I have a rather broad perspective.
What you will find below are my own observations, my girlfriend’s anecdotes, as well as situations described by foreign friends and foreign hitchhikers that I took driving to my girlfriend in Germany.
1. Doe maar gewoon normaal
I live in Utrecht, perhaps the city with the most beautiful women in the Netherlands. Surprisingly, even on a warm spring day, the number of women dressing up or wearing make-up is as frequently present as the English football team in the world cup finals. Also, it is easier to find bare skin on a teddy bear than on an average Dutch girl.
Recently I had an eye operation giving me temporary double vision. However, I couldn’t keep track of my progression back to normal vision because everyone was wearing the same clothes and accessories. I really wish I was a designer of yellow raincoats, leopard print or Herschel bags! Unfortunately, at least as a guy, the choice of your shoes seems to be as important as being charismatic.
I still haven’t found a place called ‘why?’ If you have just shaken the hand of a girl, while trying to maximize your distance to not provoke any suspicions, and ask her where she lives, the answer is usually: ‘why?’
Another freedom that we have is to travel everywhere we want. How this freedom is actually applied is best represented by the recent quote of a Dutch girl on a plane to Colombia:
“I actually wanted to go to the Phillippines, but all my friends have been to Colombia”.